Important things!

I am going on a retreat this weekend and while I am super excited about some much needed time to myself, I am slightly concerned about leaving my husband alone with the kids.  The last time he was in charge, I was sick in bed, and he sent this lovely photo to me.

danger

My oldest daughter is having cheerleading pictures taken this weekend that will be in our teams “Home” program for the season.  I explained to him that he will need to have her dressed and in full uniform by 7:30am Saturday morning.  I mentioned that her hair will need to be pulled back in a ponytail.  He responded, “Well I don’t know how to do that?”  Hmmmm…ten years and three daughters later….maybe a skill he could have picked up along the way?  This brings me to my list of things to teach my husband if I die.

  •  If the girls get invited to birthday parties please send them with a gift.  It’s not just free babysitting.
  • The “take home” folder in their backpacks isn’t just something they cart back and forth to school.  There are important papers in there that you need to go through each night.
  • Other parents don’t LOVE your kids.  You can’t just send them to a neighbor’s house so you can watch football.
  • Talking in the voice of Mickey Mouse doesn’t fix everything.  Sometimes a hug and no words will be best.  The same goes for your Donald Duck and Goofy voices.
  • Santa Claus is not real.  I am Santa Claus and it takes a bit of planning.  Don’t start shopping on Christmas Eve.  You need to wrap presents from Santa in a different wrapping paper.  You need to USE wrapping paper.  I’m sorry to break this all to you.  Those presents don’t magically appear.  Oh yeah and that “Elf on a shelf”….he doesn’t really fly back to the North Pole every night.  You are supposed to move him.

santa

  • You must NEVER EVER let them pick out their own outfits for family pictures.  You may endure a lot of kicking and screaming but one day they will thank you that you didn’t let them wear their favorite “Smurfs” t-shirt for the picture.  They don’t “accidentally” show up in coordinating outfits.

pro pic

  • YES it is necessary to clean the house BEFORE the cleaning lady comes.  We didn’t hire your mother.  She won’t make your bed and fold your laundry.
  • On Halloween the kids usually eat candy for dinner.  That’s okay.  Oh by the way, you need to make sure they have costumes.  People don’t like when kids show up with a just a bag.
  • If you let them pack their lunches it will consist of fruit snacks, cookies, chocolate pudding and a cheese stick.
  • Keep your mom, my mom, my sister and all of my best girl friends on speed dial.  They will take care of you.

Oh I almost forgot…..Just be yourself.  They love that about you.

dance

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